No, You Idiots. That's Not How Taxes Work, Concluded - An Accountant's Guide To Why You Are a Gullible Moron

More on accounting inspired by the NYT screamer

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By Jim Bowman

Writer

Earlier post set us up for this.

One thing that's really unfair about our tax system is that it is rigged in favor of people who have more resources. Government meddling makes it more costly to conduct business. The more complicated the regulatory burden, the more smaller companies can't compete. Make the laws complicated enough and the only companies that stay in business are the ones who can afford to pay for twenty guys like me. (my last regular accounting job paid extremely well, and nearly everything I did was jump through government mandated hoops, filling out government mandated paperwork which nobody in the government would probably ever read)

A fun job.

Trump has those resources. I bet he's got a room full of accountants, and their leader is probably a grizzled old CPA with an eye patch and a raven who sits on his shoulder. The raven also has an eye patch and an accounting degree. This man has wrestled bears, and he's going to take advantage of every tax break in the US Code for his client, and do so gleefully, knowing that many of those laws were signed by Barack Obama and Bill Clinton.

Signed by whom? Hmm, makes sense.

On the other side, you know damned good and well that the IRS has sent their most fearsome auditor against him. This man sold his soul to the devil, and then fined the devil for failing to list that soul as a depreciable asset. When he shows up to audit your company, he appears a flash of fire and brimstone, as a Finnish death metal band plays his theme song. He is an auditor bereft of mercy, compassion, or pity, and beneath his leathery wings serve a legion of IRS goblins, who will crawl into every nook and cranny of the Trump Corporation's P&L looking for errors, and if a mouse so much as shits a turd large enough to unbalance that ledger, there will be hell to pay.

Wow. Something out of Dante.

Is it unfair that rich guys can employ Gandalf-level CPAs and take advantage of more complicated tax laws, while regular people use TurboTax? Yep. But in the meantime, as long as those tax laws are there, the rich guys would be utter fools not to take advantage of them.

Getting to the heart of the human condition with that.

I recall a similar freak out several years ago when it came out that some giant mega-corp (I think it was GE, but I don't remember) didn't pay any taxes due to some Obama green energy tax breaks. Only that time the freak out was coming from the right (who hate Obama) and the Bernie Bros (who hate all business). It's the same kind of thing though. If the laws are on the books, of course companies (and individuals) are going to take advantage of those laws. THAT IS WHY CONGRESS PUT THEM THERE.

As sure as God made little apples.

Now, it is perfectly okay to get mad at congress for writing stupid laws and needlessly complicating everything with their endless meddling. But it's stupid to get mad at the people for obeying the laws that are in place.

Again, people are people, and do not signal me your virtue.

If it comes out that Trump broke the law, then it goes back to that soulless abomination from the IRS (which again, I say with all due respect, Mr. Auditor Sir, please don't hurt me) to hook his ebony talons into the Trump Corp's meaty flank, to pull it down and feast upon the carcass.

That's how it works. On one side CPAs, and the other, hell-spawn audit demons, and they'll argue, and battle, and go to court over what is and is not owed to the government, and then the client will pay what is legally owed plus any applicable fines and penalties (and not a dime more). Both sides of this titanic eternal struggle are far smarter than anyone at the New York Times and they have access to the actual financial data, unlike all the blue check mark idiots on Twitter who are whinging on today about their feelings. Barf.

Your feelings don't mean shit. Same as the rest of us, Trump owes what he owes. And the IRS will determine if that number is accurate or not.

In case you were worried.

Contact:
Email: jimbowman7@aol.com Twitter: @BlitheSp

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